Nobody does bubblegum pop like the Beatnik Termites; it's a generally accepted rule. Based in Cleveland, these guys have been creating their own brand of flawless tunes (about girls and other stuff) of pop-punk melodies drenched in three-part harmonies for about 10 years now, putting out one album,"Taste the Sand," and various other records all over the place. Lined up for their upcoming new full-length, "Bubblecore," the Termites just keep getting better and better. This interview was conducted by me, Benjie, via email (hey, this is a internet-based zine, after all...) with Pat, the super-cool (and super-NICE) lead singer and guitarist of the band. Rock!

PP:
OK, LET'S START WITH THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: IF YOU COULD BE ONE MEMBER OF THE NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK, WHO WOULD YOU BE, AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
PAT:
Well, I'm not really familiar with the members of that group, so I wouldn't be able to answer that question.

PP:
RELATE THE BEATNIK TERMITES TO A STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE.
PAT:
Well, I guess you could say that it's our sugary melodies that can be compared to any types of goodies/snacks. By the way, we love milkshakes and ice cream.

PP:
EVERYONE KNOWS MOST OF YER SONGS ARE BASED ON RELATIONSHIPS, DREAMS ABOUT GIRLS, AND JUST LOVE SONGS IN GENERAL. WHAT KIND OF EXPERIENCES (GOOD OR BAD) HAVE U HAD IN THE PAST IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT HAVE INSPIRED THESE BUBBLEGUM POP ANTHEMS?
PAT:
Well sometimes when I see or meet a really sweet girl, I get inspired to write a song. More than often, she will have a distinguising characteristic that I often use as the "hook" line of the song. Only one or two have actually been about real-life girlfriends. One of these is 'Strawberry Girl', about a girl who had strawberry blonde-red hair. I wrote that one after we had broken up. With other songs, I get the ideas from old fifties and early 60's music that inspires me.

PP:
ALRIGHT, I'VE BEEN GOING NUTS OVER YER SONG, "ANGEL SAW REGGIE'S DICK." WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND IT (I'VE JUST GOTTA KNOW!)?
PAT:
Some time ago when we first started out, we were playing to a nearly empty room of people at the Euclid Tavern. It was so hot and Reggie ended up removing his jeans and stripping down to his boxer shorts. We were halfway through our first song and Reggie's dick poked out from behind the flap. Since he was drumming, he didn't want to stop the song so he let his dick swing back and forth until the end of the song. At the time, he had a really small drum set so you could see everything. Our friend Angel walked up to the front of the stage after the song and yelled, "Hey Reg, you're dick is hanging out!" The next day, Reggie had the song written.

PP:
PIONEERS OF BEATNIK TERMITES: THE RAMONES OR THE BEACH BOYS? OR OTHER?
PAT:
Both. I'm incluenced by the Ramones mostly in the delivery of the music. The Beach Boys are definitely a major element in our music. From the actual songwriting aspect, I'm mostly influenced by professional writers that wrote a lot of the made for top-40 commercial hits of the late fifties and early sixties. These include Carole King/Gerry Goffin, Jeff Barry/Ellie Greenwich, and Feldman/Goldstein/Gottherer. They wrote many hits for groups such as the Shirelles, Little Eva, Herman's Hermits, The Angels, Lesley Gore, the Ronettes, the Archies, and even some early Beatles.

PP:
SO WHAT'S UP WITH "BUBBLECORE," YER UPCOMING FULL-LENGTH? WHEN CAN WE EXPECT IT TO BE RELEASED, AND WHAT SHOULD WE KNOW ABOUT IT?
PAT:
Well, Bubblecore was supposed to be released this month, but we're so behind getting our other releases out that we may have to wait another few months. In approximately 12 weeks, Pleasant Dreams is going to be released and we are going to tour in support of that this summer. When we get back, we will get the wheels rolling on the pressing of Bubblecore. Bubblecore is actually about 2 years old. The reason why we hadn't released it in 1997 was because Reggie's psychotic ex-wife was trying to sue us for any future royalties and the divorce took about a year (may she rot in hell for that). Anyhow, it definitely is more of a Ramones influenced record. There are a fair amount of love songs on it, but there are also more negative songs on it too. However, they all have the poppy melodies and tons of vocal harmony that you would expect from us. It just has slightly more snottyness than 'Taste The Sand'.

PP:
I HEARD YOU GUYS RECENTLY PLAYED WITH MARKY RAMONE; QUITE AN EXPERIENCE, HUH? WHAT WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE THING ABOUT IT?
PAT:
Oh yeah! That was a great time! The crowd was a little violent, which kinda sucked, but overall, it was a really cool show. Marky is also a really nice guy. He heard that we did Pleasant Dreams and asked me for a tape. I have yet to hear what he thinks of it.

PP:
IF YOU WERE FORCED TO GIVE UP EITHER YOUR SENSE OF SIGHT OR YOUR SENSE OF HEARING, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU KEEP?
PAT:
Heh, that's like asking if me if I had to choose between cutting off my dick or my hands! You can't masturbate without either! A lot of what I see becomes inspiration to song lyrics. I wouldn't be able to do music without either.

PP:
OK, EVERYONE ASKS THIS QUESTION, BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE THEORY OF A BAND "SELLING OUT"? WHEN A "PUNK" NOWADAYS THINKS OF BANDS LIKE GREEN DAY, THE OFFSPRING, REEL BIG FISH, THE BOSSTONES, ETC., THE FIRST THING THAT POPS UP INTO THEIR MINDS IS "SELL-OUT." OTHER PEOPLE I'VE TALKED TO DON'T EVEN BELIEVE THAT SUCH A THING EXISTS...WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON THIS?
PAT:
I believe that there are 2 criteria for not selling out: 1. A band must not alter their musical style for the sake of jumping to a major. 2. A band must not have a 'rockstar' complex. Many band have violate this second principle even without being on a major. That makes them sellouts already. A good example of a band NOT selling out is the Descendents. They still have maintained their musical style and will still talk to anyone that approaches them because they're super nice guys. I will always have respect for them.

PP:
WILL THE TERMITES EVER SIGN TO A MAJOR LABEL? IF YOU HAD THE OPPURTUNITY TO DO SO, WOULD YOU TAKE IT?
PAT:
Signing to a major isn't necessarily bad. The Muffs are on a major label and they're still awesome! The only way I would do it is if I could score a deal like that, where the band has complete artistic control. Also, the distribution possibilites are limitless when you're in a situation like that. However, I don't see it in the cards in the near future. I dislike playing very large venues in which you can't look people in the eye when your playing. I like it when people are standing 10 feet in front of me, not 30 feet below.

PP:
IF YOU WERE FORCED TO SPEND THE NEXT 3 YEARS ON A DESERTED ISLAND WITH ONLY ONE OTHER PERSON AND 3 OTHER ITEMS OF YER CHOICE, WHO WOULD U TAKE AND WHAT 3 THINGS WOULD YOU BRING ALONG WITH YOU?
PAT:
My guitar, a tape recorder, and a generator. Elyse Rodgers - as long as she could sing me to sleep with her sweet voice like a siren amongst the waves.

PP:
POLITICS: WORTH COMPLAINING ABOUT, OR JUST PLAIN STOOPID?
PAT:
Well I don't see the need to use it for lyrical content of songs. It's just not our style. However, we certainly have political views. I guess you could say we're social liberals but fiscal conservatives. We're very 'liberterian' when it comes to individual rights AND economic rights. Some people label that as conservative, others label it as anarchist, you decide. When it comes to government, we believe that LESS = MORE. Ideally I believe that the sole purpose of government is to defend the nation's borders and keep people from harming one another within the borders. Fuck socialism. Heh - the Ramones would love us for our political views. However, I do not believe in the superiority of American social culture. Quite the contrary, I think that Americans on the average are more bigoted and stupid than most other people in other countries. I don't believe that everyone should have to speak English because most Americans are too lazy and stupid (and fat too) to learn another language. The Ramones would probably shoot me for saying that. They only thing I can say about Americans culture that is superior is the bathing habits. I couldn't handle showering only once a week. With my chronic diarreah, my asshole would develop goddamn sores from not cleaning it! I gotta take at least two showers a day if not three!

PP:
WHICH CHARACTER IN THE FAMED "BACK TO THE FFTURE" MOVIE CLASSICS CAN YOU RELATE YOURSLELF TO MOST?
PAT:
I would say Mr McFly (Marty's dad). I always identify with the nerd or the underdog.

PP:
EVERYBODY HAS CRUSHES WITH FAMOUS MOVIE STARS, "ROCK STARS," ETC. WHEN THEY'RE TEENAGERS. WHAT KINDA CRUSHES DID YOU HAVE AT THAT AGE, AND WHO DID THEY INVOLVE?
PAT:
DEBBIE HARRY! She's always been my dream girl!

PP:
WOULD YOU RATHER BE A CONTESTANT ON WHEEL OF FORTUNE OR JEOPARDY?
PAT:
I've actually never watched either show.

PP:
WHERE DO YOU SEE THE FUTURE OF THE TERMITES GOING, AND HOW MUCH LONGER WILL THE TERMITES ROCK TOGETHER?
PAT:
We plan on going until we drop. We are just going to record and release more stuff and tour, tour, tour!

PP:
FINALLY, RELATE LOVE TO ONE (OR MORE) OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS: A LEATHER JACKET, TOOTHPASTE, A PERMANENT STAIN, A RUSTY NAIL, OR GOOFY (THE DISNEY CHARACTER).
PAT:
Leather jacket - it's as apart of me just like any other part of my body! I never go anywhere without it, unless it's 90 degrees!